Tips
Each small group is different, but each is alike in many ways. There are some realities we all face in being a part of a group. This page will provide tips and advice from various sources, including you, on how to make our groups the best they can be. Below are a list of the major categories people ask about or deal with in leading a group. You can read the tips below too…Feel free to make suggestions to add to our list.
1. Prayer: For many groups, the most meaningful time together is the prayer time. Here are some tips for making your prayer time the best it can be.
- Consider putting the prayer time before discussion if you find that you are having to cut short prayer because the group runs late.
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Rotate leadership of the prayer time.
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Pray for each other during the week: One group puts the names of each group member in a box and people draw names to pray for during the week. They can then call each other to ask about their requests. They repeat this every week.
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Get creative.
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Adjust your posture: Read some Psalms and adjust your posture based on the reading. If it says, “I life my eyes,” for example, then invite the group to literally lift their eyes. Bow if it says bow down. You get the idea. Then debrief the experience with the group. What was it like for you to pray using different postures? Click here for illustrations of different postures.
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Use illustrations: This could include utilizing the artistic abilities in your group. You could also choose an area of life – money, time, relationships, emotions, etc -to pray over specifically for everyone.
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Pray according to the prayers of Scripture. What did Jesus and his disciples pray for? What do you read in the letters of Paul? Ex. Paul prayed for spiritual wisdom, insight, assurance of faith, and for the gospel to be well received (Colossians). Jesus prayed for unity among the disciples (John 17). When you read Scripture together, take notice of what is being prayed for and pray for the same. Break out of typical “prayer requests” and pray for what Jesus and his earliest followers prayed for.
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Pray missionally. Pray according to and for the kingdom to spread through the group.
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Prayerwalk a neighborhood of the group. When someone hosts, take an evening to prayer walk the neighborhood asking God’s blessings on the people in the homes. Ask for God to be known among them. Ask for opportunities to get to serve the neighbors.
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Pray for those who do know know Christ. Share the names of people in the circles of influence in the group that do not know Christ yet. Do this on a regular, if not weekly, basis.
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2. Children: This is always a concern for people looking for a group but unsure how best to care for their children. Here are some tips.
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Don’t start where most groups start: Most people think, “what do we do WITH the children?” That’s the wrong question because it assumes we must do something with kids in order to get to the real meeting. Instead, ask, “what do we do FOR the children?” This changes the perspective and makes it about serving the needs of your children through your group, not just making the group for adults so that you find a convenient place for the kids.
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Involve children and teens in your group meetings: (obviously depends on the age of the children)
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Invite them to read Scripture.
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Pray with them in the prayer time.
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Build an entire meeting time around the kids. Someone from the group could do a children’s lesson and the adults could participate in the activities with the children. This gives the parents a great chance to worship and learn with their children instead of putting them downstairs or in another room.
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Allow the kids to do a service project with the group. They can help bake cookies or do other projects for people in need. Make this the focus of one meeting.
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Allow the kids to tithe to the group. Help them practice generosity by giving their money to the group’s missions or bank account if you have one.
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Allow kids to share in the sharing time. Invite them to show something they made during the week, a picture they drew, or tell a story from an experience they had during the week. They could even demonstrate something they learned – like a dance or something. You get the idea.
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Involve them in the discussion of the lesson. If you can explain something to a child, chances are you understand it better.
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Sing with the kids?? Here’s your chance to sing some of those songs you did as a child. Involve your kids in the worship of your group. They could even provide the instruments. Have fun.
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Rotate responsibility to care for and teach the children while the adults meet together.
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Pray for each others children during the week. Invite the children to pray for the other children in the group.
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Hire someone to watch the children.
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Put the kids to bed at the house where you are having a meeting. Don’t think you necessarily have to end your meeting just because it’s time for the kids to go to bed. Sure, it can be tough for some kids to go to sleep in a strange place, but it might be more possible than you think.
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Establish “house rules” for the kids and adults. The host of the group can help establish the rules so that nothing gets broken and no one gets hurt.
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Commit to making the children part of the group. It’s of great benefit to have many adults befriend your children in a group.
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If you choose to do “FOR” the kids, expect your group to be a bit more disruptive and chaotic. That’s not a bad thing. We’ve just been conditioned to practice our groups, worship, and church experiences apart from our children.
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Remember, it’s what you do “FOR” the kids, not what you do “WITH” them. The group is as much for the kids as it is for the adults. All your kids need to see you interacting, praying, and discussing Scripture with other adults.
3. Multiplication: Multiplication is not a popular topic among established, close groups. We just don’t like feeling split up. We must remember, though, that the goal of a small group is not just community, but the spread of the kingdom. We do not grow by addition, but by multiplication. Small groups as churches differ from typical church programs in this respect. Programs hope to grow by adding a person here and there. They are complicated to multiply. Small groups, however, are intended to grow through multiplication. Multiplication is our mission. We must multiply. Here are some tips:
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When do we multiply? There is no right time. The leaders are key in determing when it is time to encourage a new group to develop.
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How do we know when it’s time? Look for leaders. Are there potential leaders of other groups in your group? Is your group getting beyond 10 – 12 people and so having trouble developing community?
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Start with and state the goal of multiplication early in your group life. Mention it over and over. Remind your group that you do not just exist for the benefit of those who attend, but for the spread of the kingdom. We must consider how to help more people experience what God has given us in our small groups.
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Pray and help leaders step out to form new groups. Don’t just split the group. It’s best if a couple of leaders step out to start a new group on their own with the blessing of the original group. Have a time of celebration and commissioning the new leaders. Invite any member who would like to join them to do so.
Multiplication is not really about small groups at all. Jesus did not command us to make more small groups. He commanded us to make more disciples. We are aiming at multiplying a way of life, not a group. We want to help others love and become like Jesus, to pass on the life of Christ to others. That’s the real goal of multiplication. So, focus on making disciples in your group and the Spirit will lead them to multiply organically.
4. Curriculum: Pardon any cynicism, but I fear that we are too dependant on curriculum. When two are three are gathered in the name of Christ, he is with them. In our modern, Western context we focus so much on study that we lose how we are practicing. We focus so much on curriculum, that we often neglect simply relating to each other and Christ. Even so, let me offer a few tips when it comes to curriculum.
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Focus on Bible practice, not just Bible study. The goal is obedience and intimacy with Christ. Not just going through a series of interesting lessons. So, how are we applying what we’ve discussed? Has anything we’ve read changed our thoughts or behaviors?
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Stretch your group to read large amounts of Scripture and discuss anything that stood out to them. Do you need a Bible study? We can provide those. But, are you learning to study the Bible on your own by using these guides? Or, are you becoming reliant on what someone else has written about the text?
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Focus on closeness to Christ and each other. Don’t let curriculum stand in your way. Do a whole series of weeks with no curriculum other than prayer and encouragement of each other.
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Utilize our collection of resources. DBC has a growing cabinet of videos, Bible studies, and books for your group.
5. Serving Together: Every group needs to have a purpose of serving outside themselves. This helps keep the group outwardly focused. Here’s a basic tip for serving together:
Download a copy of the “Pathways to Serving” guide – pathways_08.pdf
Select a ministry and contact a liaison to learn about the specific needs of that ministry and how/when you can serve them.
